Visiting Sheree & what I learned

ok so I know that I went to CA and just saw Sheree...but I think that she needed me the most right now. My friend, my bestest friend from high school, whom I moved out with, who was my maid of honor at my wedding and who has always been there for me, is going through a icky, messy, words I cant say on a family friendly blog, cancer with her oldest son, Donovan. He will be 5 in January. There are so many times that I have cried for her and for her family. Then I cry for me because I am here so far away and unable to help. Then I cry right now while I am trying to write this blog. She asked me to be Nicholas' godmother and wanted me there for the Christening ceremony. So in the beginning of Oct, I went for a weekend. I was amazed at the love and joy that her and Adam have made in their home. Now dont get me wrong, I know that I love my family and we are joyous here, and that they have always had love in thier home however I just thought there would be something that would mark the house or I don't know I just expected a difference. That there would be something different. Besides the sanitizer hanging from the front door, their house was the same house I had visited many times before. There were toys around and Nicholas' baby items, Donovan's big boy toys, Adam's toys and Sheree's stuff, and the same furniture that was there the last time I had visited. There was just a very loving, comfortable feeling to the home. I can't really get the words right on here, but its just something that was amazing and will stick with me forever. They get it. Donovan still gets in trouble even though he is "SICK" he is still treated exactly the same as I have seen him treated by his parents any other time. I know that I am so blessed for my own family and its health, and I know that I take it for granted, ALOT. I am really trying to see that I take alot of things for granted and at any time our lives can change and I want to be the best that I can be on any given day. I can't imagine what they go through, I saw the pictures of the tumors and I am just in AWE that they are so wonderful, still fighting, not quitting or giving up. I think that I would just spend my days crying and being a mess. BUT she doesn't, she gets up and is a mom and wife and takes care of things. So I was in CA and just saw one person and her family ( although my mom came to the christening) but that one person taught me what its like to have a friend and to be a friend, how to be a role model and a parent, how to endure and most of all how to keep on loving. Donovan reminded and taught me joy, the wonder of a smile and a hug and how to be resilient. He said to me many times, " I will miss you. " I miss you too buddy. You would not have any idea that child has endured anything that he has. That is a tribute to him and his parents( and family) for raising such an angel. I love you- Adam, Sheree, Donovan and Nicholas, and if you are reading this blog today, please put the Doss family in your prayers.

My dad

So I am not sure if everyone knows this, but I never knew my dad as a kid. I never saw him or heard from him at all until I was 21 ish. Then for the past 12 years we has letter and then email contact. A few phone calls. I had a few photos from my early childhood but that was it. Its way too much of a story to put in a blog, and I am trying to hurry today...so anyway he came for a visit last weekend and I got to meet him for the first time. It was awesome. Jason was saying it sounds weird for you to say "my dad" as I have always had my grandpa and Jason's dad, but never "my dad". The kids had a hard time grasping why I hadn't met him until now, however Austin was seriously concerned that if Jason and I got divorced then he wouldn't get to see Jason until he was "old" but after reassuring him that Jason and I are planning on being married forever and even if for some reason we did get divorced, he would still get to see Jason he was finally ok. Then Austin says to me, " I know that grandpa is a stranger, and I just met him, but I really like him." I told him that he was not a stranger but a family member that we hadnt met before and theres plenty of family out there that we hardly see, and I thought it was great that he liked him. Megan told him, " Grandpa Richard I love you" Right while we were eating at the dinner table and although I think it shocked him, he told her he loved her right back. So he was a hit with everyone. I believe that all things have a reason and our lives are paths to learning so I am sure that this is yet another learning experience for me. I am unsure of the lesson but I think that sometimes its not for us to know the lesson all the time but to grow and be better from it. For example why did I grow up without a father? I learned that my family is even more wonderful that I thought by being loving and accepting ( already knew that but its another testimony of it ) and even when you think that you have it all figured out, you don't. When I would talk to Jason about my dad visiting, he was so what do you think? what are you feeling? I didn't really have any idea and had no real expectations. I thought it wouldn't really matter much , it was just a visit, one weekend. However, when he arrived it changed me. Its another piece of the puzzle of me and I once again learned that we can grow, forgive and love every day even when we didn't think we could.

Halloween Ghosts & Faires & Goblins

I cant leave without adding some pictures of Halloween. Hannah says that she loves Halloween the best, but then the other day she said that she loves Christmas the best because she really needs some new toys ( seriously?), then she decided since we are going to CA for thanksgiving that might be her favorite holiday. I love do think that I love Halloween the best and I really love fall. I just drove through a million leaves on the way back from the school. The road was covered with them. Pretty colors and scenery yay!

Trying to catch up

So, I was reading other blogs and was thinking, wow, you haven't updated your blog in a while. Its been a long while! So many things have happened since school started I don't even know where to begin. I need a new years resolution to blog again, and scrapbook again and all the other things that I don't have time for when theres kids & hubby & life going on. I am going to make time. That's the plan...

Lets talk about football. Austin begged Jason all last soccer season to be able to play football. Jason finally gave in and said that he could. Austin played for the Boys and Girls Club and he was on the Gators. He had a really wonderful coach and very involved parents who were at all the practices and games. I have been disappointed in the past when it seems like the parents get bored and stop bringing their kids and the team suffers. This group of families were great, we had parent shirts too. They ended the season last weekend with the playoff game, it went into 11 overtimes. I am talking 11 sudden death overtimes, where the score just kept the same we would score, then the other team would. It was really crazy. These boys all just keep playing their hearts out. SO amazing I would of given up on like the second overtime. They didn't make it to the championship, but it was a wonderful season. The girls made friends with the other sisters on the team and it was really really fun. Not so fun trying to cram it in every weeknight with homework, dinner and oh yeah sleep but we did. Austin did great not complaining about practices and kept asking if he can play next year. Umm honey let mommy live through this year first! Hannah of course decided that she wants to be a cheerleader because the team had cheerleaders and they were so CUTE! I am not sure if mommy is ready for that yet, not sure how I can get three kids to different places. I am still pretending that everyone is little and I have control over what they want and need!